Parenthood being a job vs being a relationship

One of my facebook friends posts the most wonderful affirmations and thoughts about bringing up children, and staying sane in the process. I must admit: I check her wall daily.

However this morning when I logged in for my usual dose, it wasn't her post which set me thinking, bt another daddy friend who (I reckon) is frequently busy with his 2 young sons to post many things.

When I read This, I realize why I am frequently exhausted. Raising 2 young ones is below the age of 5 is an exercise in keeping up with the many many jobs that need to be done.  This too shall pass and they will grow up soon enough that the relationship returns to centre stage (as it should be!).  I caanot wait for the job part of being a mum to be over.

School holiday. All my boys are out while I work

Today is workday 5 on the August month end close timetable.  I am unable to take leave today.

Medium Boy is off school as today is Teacher's Day in Singapore.  My aunt, who normally would have taken both boys in on school holidays, has scheduled something in the morning for herself.  She is concerned that leaving 2 energetic young boys (and my 94 year old grandma) with 2 domestic helpers would be too much for the helpers to handle! [I reckon she is right... looking after the boys during the weekends exhaust me!]

Tadah... Enter the Husband to the rescue!  He is out with both boys - alone - this morning.  He is bringing them out to the Cloud Forest at Gardens by the Bay http://www.gardensbythebay.com.sg/en/home.html.  We were there with the boys last weekend. They ooh-ed and aah-ed in wonder at the height of the waterfall in the air conditioned conversatory, so much that their mouths were open half the time from looking up.  Tee hee hee!

Morning snapshots

I woke up this morning to Small Boy's coughs.  Medium Boy coughed loudly enough during the night to wake me up at least once.  It must be the haze that is causing their little lungs to react to the dust in the air.  Time to run the Delphin air purifier this evening.

Winked at Small Boy, alternating left and right eyes.  He found that really amusing and laughed out loud, a real belly laugh that rumbled its way up his little stocky body, and burst out of his little mouth.

When Medium Boy awoke and flopped himself like a fish upon the couch, Small Boy walked up to him, touched his shoulder, grinned and roared at his kor kor.  After a few tentative roars by Small Boy, Medium Boy got into the act by pretending to spit saliva at Small Boy.  They played with each other like that for at least 10 minutes, giving me time to brush my teeth and wash my face, without any interruptions (this so rarely happens that it calls for a celebration!).

I had a mini roaring lion and a fountain today, instead of 2 little boys!  heheh.

Lunch w N

I met an old friend N for lunch just now at the Marine Parade hawker centre.  I have known him since we were both 18.  Half our lives!  Our lives and interests do not really intersect - he is an archeologist, I work with numbers - but when we meet, the conversation is always lively and interesting.

Today Ispoke to him about human motivation, inspired by Dr Petunia Lee's book which I was reading. as well as the education system and being a child in Singapore.  He told me a little bit about his public lecture on Rock Art last Friday, and being taped for a TV interview to be aired on the Morning Show on Monday.  As he had been misquoted by the media before, he was naturally wary of the TV interview.  What changed his mind was when another friend asked him "How often does an archeologist get to talk about their work on TV?" Go, Indiana Jones!!

Temper temper

Small Boy has a temper that is a match for the Husband and myself.  This morning, he spilled 2 biscuits of the container he held in his hand when we were walking to the car park.  He accused Medium Boy of taking his biscuits but I knew that cannot be true as Medium Boy was nowhere near Small Boy on the way to the carpark.  Is 2 years 5 months old enough to control his temper? 

According to the Husband, yes.  The Husband's cardinal rule is that no one must scream or throw tantrums while he is driving.   I totally understand that as I am unable to pay attention to my surroundings while driving, when either of the boys is screaming.  Talking loudly is still ok for me... I can tune that out.  However a scream/whine hooks itself onto my ears and into my soul, signalling something is out of whack.

According to me.... it depends.  Small Boy was really aggrieved that his beloved biscuits were gone.  I understand too the depth of his anguish.

I believe that children catch behaviours from us.  They will do what they see us doing, not what we tell them to do.  When I react with kindness and gentleness now, they will learn how to manage their own emotions.  I am after all growing a child, not a robot who bends to my own whims and fancies.

Weekend

Most weekends, we are out with the boys.  Somewhere.  Anywhere.  To expend their energy so that they may sleep longer in the afternoon.

Saturday we went to Gardens by the Bay.  The boys found the waterfall way more interesting than the flower domes.  Boys being boys, they prefer action, I suppose, to looking at pretty flowers.

Sunday we made our way to the airport.  Hey the newly refurbished Terminal 1 had a pretty raindrop light and music dance.  Went to T2 staff canteen for lunch, then headed to T3 to watch the Big Fan (Medium Boy's request) before heading home.

I saw that Goodman road Arts Centre had a Open House over the weekend on Friday, but we ended up at our usual haunts.  Sigh.  Humans are creatures of habit.

Fights and tears

With 2 little boys and big egos at home, there are bound to be territorial fights over toys, over medium boy asking small boy repeatedly to go into his 'boat' (a tent which is terribly messy) and even over who is occupying more space on my lap.

Fight #1
Small boy stood on the floor and flung both his arms to take up my entire lap space. Medium boy wanted a piece of my lap. Small boy kung-fu kicked him out of the way.

Fight #2
Small boy rode on medium boy's bicycle. I had to remind him that it was kor kor's bike, not his. Ah after all small boy is only 2. He started yelling soon after. The Husband placed him in a room alone to calm down.

I cannot wait for Monday to come.