Girls and Boys

Medium Boy is discovering the difference between girls and boys.

Last night after he did his I-dun-wanna-go-to-school spiel again, (he wanted to be with me! the whole day! *melt and shudder at the same time*) he told me that his ex classmate H at the old school said “Girls are different.  They are shorter than boys”.

Oh by the way, H is a girl.

Since we are on the topic of boys and girls…. Hmmm…. Will Medium Boy be embarrassed when he reads this in my blog later?  Never mind, I shall blog it anyway.  Hehe.

One day, he came out from the bathroom stark naked, then proceeded to tuck away what is between his legs further back … erhmm… into his thighs.  Then proclaimed “Mama, look!  Now I am a girl!”

I did not know whether to laugh or faint on the spot then.  In the end…. BWAHHAHHHAHHHHAHAHA.

New Year Resolutions (the lack of)

I do not make new year resolutions.  Instead I strive to grow daily in the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of my life.  Every day is after all a new day, no?  Why only choose 1 Jan to make each day better?

The usual new year resolutions of exercising, reading/reflecting, managing my own emotions and seeking connection to the divine… these are higher order human needs that need daily small steps.  After I have been clothed and fed.  My lower order needs are met.  Thanks for the blessing, God.

A Global Job aint all that glamourous

I have a global job.  My current boss is based in Istanbul, Turkey.  Her boss is based in Budapest, Hungary.  The boss above the Hungarian is based in Houston, Texas.  All of us are nationals of the countries we are based in, which seems to be a given… but in the Company, it is often not.  In my larger team, the work colleague who sits next to me in the Singapore office is a Thai based in Singapore.

There has been a work project I am spearheading… My IT counterpart is based in London, UK.  The first 3 weeks in January 2013 are crunch time, with the Hungarian due to sign off on the project by 25 Jan.  I have spent Monday night and Tuesday night on the phone from 1030pm to midnight explaining and giving input with the IT guy in London.  Else the defects raised in testing just do not move!  There are 2 touch points during the European work day, one at 930am London time (530pm SG time) and 230pm London time (1030pm SG time).

Last night I was also due to be on the phone at 1030pm.  However I felt myself sniffling and falling sick, so told the IT guy during our 530pm SG time call that I might not be able to make it to the EU afternoon call.  I had the luxury of sleeping from 10pm to 6am this morning.  I would have slept even later if not for my work phone ringing at 6am… I answered it at 615am when the caller persisted for the 5^th time.  It was a wrong number.  A male voice spoke in Chinese asking me to come to the door… he started on his spiel even before I had said my first word into the phone.  I told him in Chinese (rather calmly, I must add, at that unearthly hour in the morning) “Neighbour, this is a wrong number.  You have woken me up at 6am in the morning.  Please do not call anymore.”

I hope he got to whoever he was trying to get to.  Sounded like someone arranged for transport, then promptly overslept and forgot to come to the door.  Oh, the tales I can spin from this wrong number at 6am!!!

Back to the job.  A global job in a Euro-centric company requires that I sleep late to be on the phone.  When I had interactions with the Americans in Aug/Sep, I woke up at 430am to take 5am calls.  Some things just do not come across well on email.  If you need quick action, a phone call to explain is best.  It cuts out the non-value-adding elapsed time in getting things done.

I made sure that the Hungarian boss’ boss Z knew I shifted my working hours this week to accommodate the project completion.  Another project overseer (M the Bulgarian based in Austria) floated the idea past Z that I should fly to London next week… I said in that phone call – M, you need to fly to Singapore then to take care of my boys.  I have known M since my first role in the Company 8 years ago, hence I talk to him this way.  Our paths cross again in this project… which lends credence to how I behave at work… Be on good terms with EVERYONE in the Company, one day, they might be your teammate or boss…  

Z intervened and said that both from a cost and work-life balance perspective, it made more sense for one of my Europe teammates to work with the IT guy in London.  PHEW.  I detest travelling away from my boys, especially at short notice and on an intercontinental flight.  The single me 6 years ago would have said, hooray, bring on the travel… I have different priorities now.

In short, a global job wrecks havoc on my work-life balance.  3pm to 6pm every day is spent catching up with my Chennai and Europe-based teammates.  I cannot schedule anything on Thu evenings as there is a weekly team call.  My evenings are committed at short notice to work calls.  I am glad that the next role is a regional East role, not a global role.

House cleaning the mind

Did the boys do anything differently from Monday? No, they are still screaming and crying at the school gate, today and yesterday as on Monday.

Am I doing anything differently?  Yes, I have decided that I Shall Be A Zen Momma.

Hence the heart clenching stopped yesterday.  Any pangs today?  Well, maybe a teeny tiny one as I turned tail and left for home.  I keep my eyes on the long term goal. 

Note to self: look up and see the sky, dear.  This moment too shall pass, as every single moment does.  In the mean time, appreciate the beauty of the clouds.  They change every single day. 

In this mood, I should write in Chinese, the language of my heart.  I haven't quite figured out how to input Chinese characters yet :P

Monday school melt down

This is me sneaking into my blog during housework time to update..... :P

I expected either of the boys to melt down when they had to go to school again after 2 days' break over the weekend.... but my mommy's heart still clenched when Small Boy started to yell in earnest

"I DUN WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL! I DUN WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL! I WANT TO STAY IN THE CAR!"

when I unbuckled his seat belt this morning.

Part of me is amazed that he is -that- articulate when under pressure.

Small Boy refused to take off his shoes, then refused to enter the school, and arched his body to cling onto the door when I scooped him in.  Medium Boy stared agog at me and the Teachers.  He was watching to see what the adults do.
Senior Teacher D whispered to me "Better for you to go...."  so trusting them to do what they do best, I turned tail and left.... (hard hearted mommy).

I called the school a moment ago.  Small Boy threw his tantrum for 15 minutes, then stopped, and is joining into Chinese song singing now.  Medium Boy is now upstairs with his peers.  He still resists Chinese class, but slowly slowly.... one step at a time.

Now I need to go, hang the laundry while the sun shines!

First school bus trip

I asked Medium Boy on Thursday night - are you ready to take the school bus tomorrow? (From school to aunt's place) Both boys met the kindly school bus uncle and auntie on Thursday morning. Medium Boy likes the uncle's kind face.  Hence he agreed to try out the school bus on Friday.

I raced down from morning chores to get to their school by 1130am so that I could personally escort them onto the bus.  Then drove to aunt's place to receive them.

Medium Boy bounded off the bus and immediately gave his CNN news report.

"You know mama... Didi was looking for you for the bus just now. He couldn't find you so he cried. Yes he did, until Auntie sat next to him. (Pause for breath)
The school bus has seat belts, Mama. Didi couldn't buckle so I buckled it for him!"

I looked into the back of the bus for Small Boy. His shoulders were hunched forward; his eyes were red with tears. Immediately I gathered Small Boy into my arms for a hug and kiss.

He saw me, said one word "Mama!" And leaped into my embrace.  My poor little one! I had forgotten completely to tell him about the school bus!  Sorry Small Boy, Mama shall remember to brief both you and kor kor next time...

New School

Today is the second day in the new school for both boys.  There has been some problem with the domestic helper coming home (she was due back on 2 Jan originally, now revised to 8 Jan) so I have been reacquainting myself with the nooks and crannies of the home.

Medium Boy had attended his previous child care since Mar 2010.  2 years 10 months in that school.  Wow, that’s more than the gestational period of 3 babies.  Last night this is how our conversation went.

MB: Mama, I want to go back to my old school.  I do not like the new school.

Me: Why dear?

MB:  I just dun.

Me: Give the new school a chance.  Let’s try again tomorrow ok.  Mama will be with you and didi anyway.

MB (pregnant pause): I dun wanna go to school anymore!  I wanna stay at home! Hmmph!  [turns his back to me]

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Yes I know this is an expected response.  Yes I know he misses his old school, his old teachers, his old classmates with whom he races toy cars with everyday before lunch.  Yes I know all that, and my heart still clenches with the pain of change on his behalf…

Small Boy has never been to school.  We kept him away from school as he was allergic to eggs to the extent that his allergy flared up whenever I ate eggs (yep, the triggering protein made its way through my milk) or any food that had a trace of egg inside.   Yesterday was a new beginning for him.  

He is attracted to the water pouring activities in the new school and also to the painting easel.  Today and yesterday, he has stood behind another child waiting his turn at the easel.  He loves playing with colours, Small Boy does.

May they settle down in school quickly.... I am on AM half day leave this week to ease their transition.