Opening the Closed Circles

Now that I have 2 young ones to educate, I keep a close watch on any shift in Singapore education policies.  PM Lee’s National Day Rally on 18 August promised 40 places in EVERY primary school will be set aside for children without any affiliation.  To recap, primary school registration is in 3 phases with the number of (fixed) places filled first by Phase 1, then Phase 2, and finally Phase 3.

Phase 1 is for children who have a sibling currently studying in the school of choice.  Most parents have no quibble with this phase.  After all, it makes sense logistically for parents to ferry 2 or 3 children to one school rather than run around Singapore to fetch them to different places.

Phase 2 is where the situation starts getting more interesting.  Phase 2A1is for children whose parents are former students of the school, and the parent has joined the alumni association, or the parent is a member of the school advisory committee.  Phase 2A2 is for children whose parents or sibling had studied in the school of choice, or whose parent is a staff member of the school.  The link back to one’s alma mater is supposed to build the alumni community (fuzzy concept!).  A free pass for selected people… if you the parent do not belong in this category by birth or career choice, aha, there is Phase 2B where the angst starts….

Phase 2B is for children whose parent (1) volunteers who have provided at least 40 hours of service to the school, or (2) is a member endorsed by a clan/church directly connected with the primary school, or (3) is an endorsed community leader.  (1) advantages the stay at home parent with time to carry out the community service…. (2) brings up questions of race/ethnicity/heritage and religion into a secular, supposedly race-blind process and (3)…. Well, anedocatal evidence points to category (3) parents who volunteer with Singapore’s ruling party…. Only these people are endorsed.  

Then comes that distance factor.  Phase 2C is for all Singaporean and PR children who are not yet registered in a primary school, according to the Ministry of Education website.  However, schools divide this phase into 2.  2C1 is for children whose registered address is within a 1km radius of the school; 2C2 is for children whose registered address is within a 2km radius of the school.  After all distance makes sense correct?  Which parent wants a sleepy 7 year old to have a 1 and a half hour commute to school?

Over time, applicants to the ‘good’ schools increasingly become more homogeneous in their family profiles.  More than the national average living in private property (proxy for wealth), more than the national average with graduate parents.  

Now, if you ask any parent, they will tell you they want the best for their children.  Best education, which in the Singapore context, is narrowly defined as the best grades.  I disagree with this definition, and hence I am heartened by PM Lee’s policy tweak.  My country, my society will be more cohesive because of equal access to education opportunities.

Words to live by

Once in a while, a piece of prose takes my breath away.  The first was Desiderata (and what a story behind those words originally thought to be 1692 wisdom).  Then a friend posted the Holstee Manifesto on her blog....

This is your life. Do what you want and do it often.
If you don't like something, change it.
If you don't like your job, quit.
If you don't have enough time, stop watching TV.
If you are looking for the love of your life, stop; they will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love.
Stop over-analysing, life is simple.
All emotions are beautiful.
When you eat, appreciate every last bite.
Life is simple.
Open your heart, mind and arms to new things and people, we are united in our differences.
Ask the next person you see what their passion is and share your inspiring dream with them.
Travel often; getting lost will help you find yourself.
Some opportunities only come once, seize them.
Life is about the people you meet and the things you create with them, so go out and start creating.
Life is short, live your dream and wear your passion.

And prior to thousands of primary school pupils writing evocative compositions.... the opening sentence of "Jonathan Livingstone Seagull" moved me

It was morning, and the new sun sparkled gold across the ripples of a gentle sea.

and this one.... so fierce that the words leap off the page into the throat to jolt one awake

Self-Pity
By D.H. Lawrence

I never saw a wild thing
sorry for itself.
A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough
without ever having felt sorry for itself.

At breakfast

I am normally the earliest to wake on weekdays, followed by the Husband.  Then both of us will wake the boys up... Medium Boy drags his furry toy friends to the daybed and plops there for a while.  Small Boy staggers like a drunk to the other daybed and lies horizontal until his milk is warmed up.

The Husband tells me this story in the car after the boys alight at their school.  I was probably in the shower at that time.

(Silence at the breakfast table)

Then Medium Boy pipes up..... "Everybody is sleepy right?"

The Husband looks at him..... he continues "The table is so quiet!"  then giggles at his own observation.

Indeed, Medium Boy, indeed.....

Songs in the car

- courtesy warning.  this post contains references to bodily secretions.-

Starting sometime in June, when we were on a long drive to Sengkang in the middle of the night, and the 2 boys were sitting at the back by themselves.

Medium Boy started the fireworks song. Medium Boy and Small Boy made hexi-don-te shapes (helix with one bend) with the mesh window shades, and sang

"We are making hexi-don-tes
And FIREWORKS
and we like this place
and we like to sing"

accompanied by tossing the mesh up in the air on the word fireworks.  Small Boy giggled as he followed his brother's actions.

This Monday, Medium Boy started the toilet humour song.  "Papa," he started to tell the Husband..... "I am driving, talk to Mama" was the response... then "Mama..." to me.

MB: listen Mama, I am having a tea party with poo-poo and pee-pee.  *mimes drinking from a teacup*
*giggles madly*

Tuesday.  The tea party expanded to include boo-boo (MB's term for boogers that come out of his nose) and pass gas.

Having grown up in a mostly-female household, I am grossed out.  The Husband thinks MB is just being a boy though....  The 5yo is getting cheekier!

Reorganisation

The announcements of the reorganisation came out last evening.
3 announcements from CEO downwards, then one functional announcement from the finance lead.

Uncertain times are coming.  Till the end of this year.

Medium Boy and Small Boy, I write this down to let you know that I am also an employee and have my unique contribution to the world, other than being your mommy.

And I want to tell you: Being your mommy is the most important job in the world to me.  There are never enough hours in the day to be with you.  When you grow older and read Virginia Woolf, I hope you give your wives space too to have a room of their own.  It is very important for a woman to have a space where she is solely herself.

Inspiring woman

My GM is a 44 year old bundle of positive energy.  Whenever she is faced with a difficult situation (and there are many through the course of a work day), she reacts to it with an attitude of "how can we collectively as a team, make lemonade out of lemons?".  She uses her words to inspire... "how to square this off.... what can we do now.... let's look for ways to figure out how to (meet a business objective)".  Excellent at managing her team, as well as communicating.  In good news, she credits her team, and in so doing, credits herself.  In bad news, she manages the message.

She is such a larger-than-life figure to me that I was surprised that she is such a petite lady.... I noticed her physical height with a jolt only when I walked next to her (and talked to her) on the way to a meeting on Tuesday, and hey, I had to look down to meet her eyes when speaking.  Sitting across a table from her, or being in a townhall with her, one would never notice her smallness of frame.

During lunch on Monday, we were talking about children.  She is a mother who believes in keeping her 2 sons aged 16 and 10, close to her.  In fact, she is in Kidzania, KL with both of them over this long weekend.  Another colleague was sharing over lunch how her 10 year old nephew is acting up.  My GM offered sage advice on how she would handle the situation.... Wow. 

And... she is beautiful with sharp cheekbones and clear glowing skin, and she dresses well too.

Oh, I want to be my GM when I grow up! :)

Away from me

It had to happen one day... Medium Boy is slowly asserting his independence away from me and away from the Husband.

First it started with his insistence that he is big enough to take the lift to our 11th storey apartment by himself.  "Can mama be with you?" I asked him.  "No!" he replied, emphasising his point by giving me a slight shove.  "Didi likes to use the other life, you go with him."
I stood by the lift for the entire minute it took to ascend to the 11th storey, with my eyes glued on the screen.  Must have breathed only when he exited the lift.
Raced to the other lift with Small Boy, took it all the way up to the 14th storey (where the common corridor is), and tapped my foot impatiently as 'our' lift [I think of the lift outside my apartment as ours] descended from 14 to 11.  Opened the main door striding the 3 steps from lift to door, and yes, there he was, my Medium Boy.  All flush with the rush that came from taking the lift up by himself, and telling the Husband he is a BIIIIIIGGGG boy now.

Then it happened again at the public toilets.  He announced he needed to go to the toilet, I brought him there and just as we were about to turn to the ladies', he asked me plaintively "Mama, I am a boy, I should go to the boys' toilet, can I?" then adding "please please please" for good measure as I internally calculated the probability that something (lightning storm? sick perverts? foot jammed into toilet? eating his booger after peeing [and not wiping himself]?), anything would happen during the 5 minutes that he is in the toilet.
I allowed him to go.  Paced outside like a crazed woman.  Resisted the urge to grab any passing male going into the toilet and ask him to check on my nearly-not-quite-5-year-old son as he did his business by himself.  Those 3 minutes felt like 3 hours.

He strolled nonchalently out of the men's toilet with a big grin.... the grin of a boy who has accomplished something, all by himself.

His limbs are lanky now, and he is more agile.  The baby fats have melted away as I forgot to watch him.  He is growing up away from me.  Fly, little one, fly away from me.... Remember to look back and wave at your mama, I pray as I silently let him go.