Men in India

Two observations about men in India.

Observation #1
Last evening as I exited the lift, 2 Indian men cut in front of me!  In Singapore, the able-bodied men will wait for the women, elderly and children to exit first in my HDB apartment lift, then walk out themselves.  It is a dance of watching each other's feet with minimal eye contact... Hehe.  Somehow the women will be out of the lift before the men even move.
BUT last evening, being born and bred in Singapore, and used to the ways of our men, I nearly crashed into the 2 men.  Who are obviously not following the above rule.

I am amused at myself, how I behave in India is the way I behave in Singapore.  I forget where I am!

Observation #2
95% of men in Chennai, India have some form of facial hair.

Didi is not a pet!

One evening, some time ago, Medium Boy was playing with Small Boy in the Ikea tent we put up for them in the playroom.  Medium Boy had to poo.  He took Small Boy by the shoulders, pushed him (lightly, but it was still a push) into the tent, and told Small Boy "I go poo poo, you stay here."

O_O

The Husband and I pulled Medium Boy aside and told him that his didi is not a kitten or puppy!  He needs to respect his brother as a person.

Love moulds me, not Work

I had a lovely dinner with S, my Indian colleague who is now also a friend.  His wife P cooked for R and me.  Dinner was coriander puree mixed with lemon, cottage cheese in spices, and potatoes in spices.  P has never encountered anyone from SE Asia before so she was full of questions like what is the Singapore culture like, how do I celebrate Chinese New Year, what is the Lantern festival about. 

S is young, well younger than I am by 2 years, but… he seems young mentally.  He is unhappy at work because he was rated below average for the 2011 performance appraisal.  And why was he thus rated?  Ah the plot thickens.  I knew that he sustained an injury at work during the third quarter of 2011 – an accident that affected his back – and was out of work for at least 6 weeks.  Then he was put into a Performance Improvement Program (what the…) and the below average rating affected his bonus too.  Sigh.

I told him to leave if he is really so unhappy…. Over dinner, when S was out of earshot, P also shared that he is becoming a different person, less jovial, less open and more guarded.  Hey man, if work affects you like that to become a different person, then please leave.  I told him the story of the sales manager who was asked to leave 2 months shy of his 40 year tenure with the company, as he opposed the whole ERP implementation program that the company was going through.  Massive change journey.  This very same sales manager told the young chiku (literal = unripe green fruit, figuratively a young untried person) me that if I were to die tomorrow due to a freak accident, the company will replace me immediately.  If I were very good, maybe they would need to find 2, 3 persons to replace me, but replace me they will.  Let the people who love you shape who you are, I said to him.  [Now I am blogging to remind myself too]

Let the people who love you shape who you are, and who you are becoming.

The people who do not care about me, do not care anyway.

Off to Chennai

Idling at the airport waiting for my plane....

I have not figured out how to upload photos from my iPhone to the blog yet. If any reader is kind enough to tell me please please?

Eternal curves

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201206/eternal-curves

Woah oh.... a reason to love my curves!  Being hippy means more DHA for myself and my progeny :)

"A woman’s figure signals the abundance of her DHA supply. Studies show that women with curvier hourglass figures have more DHA stored in their body fat. And because DHA makes brains work better, these curvier women also tend to have smarter children and, contrary to what you might expect, to be smarter themselves."

The DHA or whatnot in my breastmilk certainly helped Medium Boy and Small Boy triple their birth weight by the time they were 4 to 5 months old.   My boss then PB said tripling of birth weight normally occurs when the baby is nearly 1 year old.  Strapping boys then, and still strapping boys now.

Navel gazing

Small Boy was born 2 and a half years ago.  I looked down at my navel, hence literally navel gazing, and the 'linea negra' that runs down my abdomen is totally gone now.  YAY!

Used to run pretty regularly before I met the husband.  Thanks to his foodie tendencies, too many meals of eating well has left its mark on my girth.  I have not seen my abdominal muscles for 6 years now.  Sigh.  *perks up* I have 2 handsome boys now.  I consider it a more than fair exchange - taut abdominal muscles for my sons.

Hypobirthing with Ginny Phang helped me to give birth drug free, no gas no epidural nothing.  It was not bravado.  All my reading and research led me to believe strongly that a drug free birth equals an alert baby ready to latch after birth.  Both Medium Boy and Small Boy responded to the Husband's soft whisper of their names straightaway after birth.  Me?  I remember feeling exhilarated and exhausted simultaneously.

Men do not make good wives

If the situation were reversed and he was the one facing work deadlines juggling multiple stakeholders, here is what I would do.

• Leave the house on time, prepare the boys for their daily routine so that he is at work by 830am
• In the evenings, ask if he needs to work or prepare for the next day .  If he says yes, bring the boys out to the market or the mall.
• Plan each week's meals, shop for groceries and make the meals 'magically' appear on the table

All I can say is that men are from Mars and women are from Venus.  Now I know why we as a unit cannot survive if he were a househusband, and I were to work.  Hmmph!