It had to happen one day... Medium Boy is slowly asserting his independence away from me and away from the Husband.
First it started with his insistence that he is big enough to take the lift to our 11th storey apartment by himself. "Can mama be with you?" I asked him. "No!" he replied, emphasising his point by giving me a slight shove. "Didi likes to use the other life, you go with him."
I stood by the lift for the entire minute it took to ascend to the 11th storey, with my eyes glued on the screen. Must have breathed only when he exited the lift.
Raced to the other lift with Small Boy, took it all the way up to the 14th storey (where the common corridor is), and tapped my foot impatiently as 'our' lift [I think of the lift outside my apartment as ours] descended from 14 to 11. Opened the main door striding the 3 steps from lift to door, and yes, there he was, my Medium Boy. All flush with the rush that came from taking the lift up by himself, and telling the Husband he is a BIIIIIIGGGG boy now.
Then it happened again at the public toilets. He announced he needed to go to the toilet, I brought him there and just as we were about to turn to the ladies', he asked me plaintively "Mama, I am a boy, I should go to the boys' toilet, can I?" then adding "please please please" for good measure as I internally calculated the probability that something (lightning storm? sick perverts? foot jammed into toilet? eating his booger after peeing [and not wiping himself]?), anything would happen during the 5 minutes that he is in the toilet.
I allowed him to go. Paced outside like a crazed woman. Resisted the urge to grab any passing male going into the toilet and ask him to check on my nearly-not-quite-5-year-old son as he did his business by himself. Those 3 minutes felt like 3 hours.
He strolled nonchalently out of the men's toilet with a big grin.... the grin of a boy who has accomplished something, all by himself.
His limbs are lanky now, and he is more agile. The baby fats have melted away as I forgot to watch him. He is growing up away from me. Fly, little one, fly away from me.... Remember to look back and wave at your mama, I pray as I silently let him go.
First it started with his insistence that he is big enough to take the lift to our 11th storey apartment by himself. "Can mama be with you?" I asked him. "No!" he replied, emphasising his point by giving me a slight shove. "Didi likes to use the other life, you go with him."
I stood by the lift for the entire minute it took to ascend to the 11th storey, with my eyes glued on the screen. Must have breathed only when he exited the lift.
Raced to the other lift with Small Boy, took it all the way up to the 14th storey (where the common corridor is), and tapped my foot impatiently as 'our' lift [I think of the lift outside my apartment as ours] descended from 14 to 11. Opened the main door striding the 3 steps from lift to door, and yes, there he was, my Medium Boy. All flush with the rush that came from taking the lift up by himself, and telling the Husband he is a BIIIIIIGGGG boy now.
Then it happened again at the public toilets. He announced he needed to go to the toilet, I brought him there and just as we were about to turn to the ladies', he asked me plaintively "Mama, I am a boy, I should go to the boys' toilet, can I?" then adding "please please please" for good measure as I internally calculated the probability that something (lightning storm? sick perverts? foot jammed into toilet? eating his booger after peeing [and not wiping himself]?), anything would happen during the 5 minutes that he is in the toilet.
I allowed him to go. Paced outside like a crazed woman. Resisted the urge to grab any passing male going into the toilet and ask him to check on my nearly-not-quite-5-year-old son as he did his business by himself. Those 3 minutes felt like 3 hours.
He strolled nonchalently out of the men's toilet with a big grin.... the grin of a boy who has accomplished something, all by himself.
His limbs are lanky now, and he is more agile. The baby fats have melted away as I forgot to watch him. He is growing up away from me. Fly, little one, fly away from me.... Remember to look back and wave at your mama, I pray as I silently let him go.
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