Wednesday, 7 November 2012

Of Mice and Men

Each day passes in a blur of action when one has small children, plus a household to manage, plus a full time job outside the house.  I am blessed and lucky because my current position allows me to work from home.  I go into the office once or twice a month to process my expense claims.  The boys go about their daily routine regardless where I work, be it at home or in the office.

Now that this routine is to be interrupted by my own upcoming job change, and the Husband's too, I pray that He will make the path smooth.  I pray that Small Boy and Medium Boy will settle down well in their new Montessori school next year, and that they will nap every afternoon at Aunt's place.  In the hustle and bustle of life, I pray that I will always remember that Small Boy, Medium Boy and the Husband are most important to me, and that I will always put them first.

Some part of me still wants to go for that promotion at work, and I have put in the CV for that particular job when CL called me last Thursday to remind me that Friday is the deadline.  The interview results of my lateral move is out by this Friday.  Que Sera Sera, whatever will be, will be.  This is a nerve wrecking, nail biting time.  Changes changes changes.

My boss E asked me again yesterday about the results of the job applications.  Now that she is to let me go, she feels free to be more herself, more authentic and I see facets of her that my teammate R does not.  The whole process of discovering more of E has been fascinating.  I do not miss my ex boss J so much now.....

2012 has been full of downs.  Putting in 16 hour (and one 20 hour!) work days from March to June.  The long work days left me with precious little energy to care about the foundations of my family.  I had to deal with 2 bouts of serious illnesses in the family during that time too, mine plus the Husband's.  I am taking steps now to put things back on track where they should be.  The rest is up to Him. 

The best laid schemes of mice and men
Go often awry,
And leave us nothing but grief and pain,
For promised joy!
- Robert Burns, 1785, Kilmamock

O Lord, I pray that your Will, not mine, be done in my life.  Help me to be an instrument of your Grace and Wisdom in all aspects of my life.  Free my mind to make it Yours, for truly, I am Yours alone.  I rest in You, remembering that I am first and foremost Your daughter.  Amen.

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